It's Epiphany, my last chance to finalise this draft while still having it be arguably timely

[brin_bellway]

[cw: Christmas, (arguably) war, (arguably) apocalypse]


I spent the last couple of December work shifts amusing myself by mentally compiling a hypothetical album of Christmas songs put slightly askew.

* "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", but it's the early draft about struggling not to get conquered by Nazis

* "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas", but they offhandedly mention cell phones at some point

* "The First Noel", but pronouncing Israel the modern way

* (maybe "O Come All Ye Faithful" but pronouncing Bethlehem with three syllables (which fits the meter better anyway), but that might be too similar a gimmick)

* "Wonderful Christmastime", but it's about a witch coven trying to pretend that the thing they're doing is a Christmas party

* "Silent Night", but it's uncomfortably horny (for bonus points, change none of the lyrics)

---

Here's the first track:



(I sang this through a respirator: it seemed aesthetically appropriate.)

Comments

[brin_bellway]

Honourable mention: a cobalt arrangement of Pachelbel's Canon that *stays* instrumental the whole way through and does *not* break out into inane lyrics

(This grey one is nice, but it's not *as* nice.)

[(Anonymous)]

Walking in a Winter Wonderland only it's actually a Christmas song?
A-souling, but they're actually collecting souls? Or the cakes are made with actual souls?