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brin_bellway[...this post definitely should *have* content warnings, but I'm not sure how to phrase them. Probably your best bet is just to read the OP and decide whether you want to read a discussion of the kinds of things likely to come up in response to it.]
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kkujo)
(Is anyone else weirded out that so many people in the notes of this post are saying, essentially, that their access to information should have been censored harder? That's...not a thing I hear people say very often. Huh.
I always felt like the main value of my parents' Internet restrictions was precisely that it gave me a chance to *practise circumventing restrictions*. The Chalkzone fan forum I mentioned? I didn't tell my parents I was there. I had some related notes, and I kept them *in a hollow in my mattress*.)
((Was I *good* at keeping secrets and circumventing censors at the age of nine? Not especially, no. But that's exactly why I needed that relatively low-stakes environment to practise such things in.))
(((Also there are a lot of people saying that they were exposed to weird porn at a young age and it fucked them up, while I feel like if anything the *lack* of exposure to weird sex as a child fucked me up. I had the kind of sex education that was like "we're Liberal and Inclusive, in that we have *two* or even as many as *three* boxes for people to fit themselves into instead of just the one". Meanwhile I, a very paraphilic child, was given absolutely no information whatsoever about a fundamental part of my being and left to just figure it out on my own (which I could not, in fact, do).
I get why they did it that way! I'm not even saying there were necessarily any better options! But while I intellectually acknowledge they were doing their best, I still *feel* resentful about it.)))
((((god I cannot relate to people who just, like, *didn't have* a sexuality until they were like 13
it was awful and violating to get even a much smaller version of the appropriate genetic payload: the magnitude of the atrocity implied by people talking about sexuality as if the *whole thing* *normally* shoves its way into an already-formed personality is staggering, and I amconcerned by the precedent of concerned for the people who apparently got mind-controlled so hard they stopped even caring about having been mind-controlled))))
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(Is anyone else weirded out that so many people in the notes of this post are saying, essentially, that their access to information should have been censored harder? That's...not a thing I hear people say very often. Huh.
I always felt like the main value of my parents' Internet restrictions was precisely that it gave me a chance to *practise circumventing restrictions*. The Chalkzone fan forum I mentioned? I didn't tell my parents I was there. I had some related notes, and I kept them *in a hollow in my mattress*.)
((Was I *good* at keeping secrets and circumventing censors at the age of nine? Not especially, no. But that's exactly why I needed that relatively low-stakes environment to practise such things in.))
(((Also there are a lot of people saying that they were exposed to weird porn at a young age and it fucked them up, while I feel like if anything the *lack* of exposure to weird sex as a child fucked me up. I had the kind of sex education that was like "we're Liberal and Inclusive, in that we have *two* or even as many as *three* boxes for people to fit themselves into instead of just the one". Meanwhile I, a very paraphilic child, was given absolutely no information whatsoever about a fundamental part of my being and left to just figure it out on my own (which I could not, in fact, do).
I get why they did it that way! I'm not even saying there were necessarily any better options! But while I intellectually acknowledge they were doing their best, I still *feel* resentful about it.)))
((((god I cannot relate to people who just, like, *didn't have* a sexuality until they were like 13
it was awful and violating to get even a much smaller version of the appropriate genetic payload: the magnitude of the atrocity implied by people talking about sexuality as if the *whole thing* *normally* shoves its way into an already-formed personality is staggering, and I am
no subject
Date: 2022-06-02 12:57 am (UTC)i replied to that same post about how late my unrestricted internet access was compared to some of these people, and how i wish it'd been earlier. and, like, i literally fail to imagine how any of the things i am likely to come across in the internet, now or then, could've had any effects i regret on my younger self, but this might just be a failure of imagination, i don't know. maybe if i had come across some stuff at age 6 rather than 12 my sense of what damage uncensored information can do would be more vivid? it does not viscerally feel plausible