Date: 2021-02-19 03:48 pm (UTC)
brin_bellway: forget-me-not flowers (Default)
From: [personal profile] brin_bellway
>>anxiety, for me, is a signal that I'm feeling *internally conflicted or uncertain* about what to do in a given situation.

Wait, hang on, I've talked about the distinction here before.

...wait, hang on, I've talked about the distinction here *with you* before.

So, yeah, COVID-related anxiety is primarily an uncertainty-of-outcome anxiety. Each breath of public air tilts the odds just a little bit more against me, but I don't get to know in advance which situations are genuinely dangerous, or whether I'll make it out of the dangerous ones intact, or exactly what would happen if I *didn't* make it out intact. (Hell, I wouldn't even get to know the first one in *hindsight*: I have to go out often enough that if I *did* get sick I would never know for sure which outing it was that screwed me over.)

---

>>I'm not sure about a *single distinctive signal* which does that thing, as opposed to its being a side effect of general reasoning about my situation coupled with general pursuit-of-my-values?

I'm not sure if I can disentangle fear from the process of deciding that something is best avoided: it seems like a manifestation of that decision.

I *have* occasionally seen the world through a positive lens, where things are basically okay as they are but they *could* be even better (rather than things being unacceptably bad as they are, with adequacy being a goal off in the distance). While this state is more effective than I might naively *expect*, I'm definitely slower at adding improvements to my life than at making repairs.
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brin_bellway: forget-me-not flowers (Default)
Brin

May 2025

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