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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-11-02 06:24 pm (UTC)It's a good post and I agree with it, it's valid to just want to convey that.
> I made the mistake once of telling a friend
Yeah that sounds like an all-around unpleasant interaction to have.
> I mean, I know that I have a fairly limited emotional range
*nods*. I haven't historically done grief (though, ditto, re:"Possibly the threshold of significance hasn't hit high enough", I haven't even lost grandparents) - I do *mourning*, and I do *sadness at the idea of something's permanent absence from my life* (regardless of the actually of it's absence - I've spent the occasional evening in a fit of melancholy over the fact that my more-prized physical possessions will someday be broken and unwanted), but they're clearly distinct emotions. I've def got sadness in general, and I can get the propensity to poeticise it as an emotion, it seems very natural to me given the texture of the emotion, but also I'm a very strong proponent of "suffering is bad and I should not suffer".
(The other thing that I think of here is how I've cut out *sooo* much anger. I was such a fucking angry 10 year old and now I'm much much much less so. I still have it as an emotion when situationally appropriate, but there was this - profound frustration and anger at the shape of the world and the people in it that I don't have now, even though I'm a lot more aware of the hows and whys of (and the sheer vast extent of) the world's damage.)
> I don't think there's much I can say about your second paragraph
That's valid. You're right, re: cost-benefit, and I do think I'm going to try doing *some* things even though it involves train-travel in the next month or so, just to get out of the house (but I should also spend that coin carefully). But I still assess the emotion I felt upon reading that thing as an irrational additional bias, if that makes sense? A kind of "well if the disaster is perpetual and ongoing then it's safe to ignore it entirely" based complacency that I'd rather not cultivate and am generally kinda prone to.
Re: grocery advice: I'm happy to have advice conditional on it not being very obvious advice I've already heard ten times (this is esp true of you since you have historically given good and interesting advice) - in this case: no, I can't walk, no I can't get it delivered, no I don't know anyone who I can get a lift from. I'm not sure taxis/uber are substantially safer than the train TBH and they're *also* expensive tools I don't habitually use and that makes me reluctant to try and learn. I think that's all the obvious answer off the top of my head.