Orgasms are a memetic hazard
Apr. 26th, 2019 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brin_bellway[cw: what it says on the tin]
After a couple instances of serendipity, I have finally found a method of vanilla masturbation that works for me.
It's...actually a pretty disturbing feeling. It reminds me a lot of looking at cute babies? Like, I can *feel* it trying to shape me into what I'm ~supposed~ to be, as if my creator is trying to bring me into alignment by patching me after the fact.
Fuck off, evolution. You had your chance to make this a self-replicating organism, you failed, now move on. Take the long way around: get rid of me by having others outbreed me.
---
I was surprised by how *different* it was. An entirely new form of pleasure, not like anything I'd experienced before. It doesn't feel like an extension or aspect or synergy of the sexuality I'm accustomed to, but something separate. *My* sexuality is over *there*, still--to my relief, given the first section (*knocks on wood*)--entirely intact; this is something *else*, something foreign.
---
I appreciate the chance to satisfy my curiosity and all, and I'm glad the people for whom this fits are having fun, but I think I'll probably aim to avoid it from now on. I am *not* an infohazard fetishist, and there seems little point in playing with fire when there are perfectly ego-syntonic masturbation methods available. I'm not twenty and desperate anymore: I have *options*.
After a couple instances of serendipity, I have finally found a method of vanilla masturbation that works for me.
It's...actually a pretty disturbing feeling. It reminds me a lot of looking at cute babies? Like, I can *feel* it trying to shape me into what I'm ~supposed~ to be, as if my creator is trying to bring me into alignment by patching me after the fact.
Fuck off, evolution. You had your chance to make this a self-replicating organism, you failed, now move on. Take the long way around: get rid of me by having others outbreed me.
---
I was surprised by how *different* it was. An entirely new form of pleasure, not like anything I'd experienced before. It doesn't feel like an extension or aspect or synergy of the sexuality I'm accustomed to, but something separate. *My* sexuality is over *there*, still--to my relief, given the first section (*knocks on wood*)--entirely intact; this is something *else*, something foreign.
---
I appreciate the chance to satisfy my curiosity and all, and I'm glad the people for whom this fits are having fun, but I think I'll probably aim to avoid it from now on. I am *not* an infohazard fetishist, and there seems little point in playing with fire when there are perfectly ego-syntonic masturbation methods available. I'm not twenty and desperate anymore: I have *options*.
