Brin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
brin_bellway) wrote2024-01-08 05:02 pm
brin_bellway) wrote2024-01-08 05:02 pm
Entry tags:
In this life, three things are certain
[strong cw: illness]
I have COVID-19.
---
I strove so hard, when my brother fell ill a couple of weeks ago. But reality doesn't grade on a curve, and empirically I did not strive hard *enough*.
---
No. That's not true. Reality *does* grade on a curve. It grades on a dose-response curve.
I strove so hard to protect myself from him, and that--we may safely assume: how could it not?--lowered my dose, and that *matters*.
---
There has not been time to learn what the impact of COVID-19 infection looks like five, ten, thirty years down the line. But neither am I an early adopter in the grand experiment.
Because I held out until 2024, I have six doses of vaccine in me, the last one just 11 weeks ago.
Because I held out until 2024, I have an air purifier whirring away here in my bedroom, simulating the benefits of fresh air on convalescence, breathing through a 99.5% filter for me when I cannot (because the call is coming from inside the house).
Because I held out until 2024, I have a bottle of cetylpyridinium chloride mouthwash for disinfecting the parts of my innards that mouthwash can safely reach. Which isn't much, but every virus you kill is one less for your immune system to deal with. (I just learned this one recently, bought a bottle less than three weeks ago, just in time.)
"Rest more than you think you need," the updated guides for dealing with COVID-19 infection say, "for longer than you think you need it." They are quite emphatic about this. If you do not schedule maintenance your body will schedule it for you, and if you do not schedule *weeks* of maintenance your body may schedule *years*. No guarantees either way, but you can play the odds, which beats not *knowing* how to play the odds.
(I am writing this from bed, where I intend to remain to the extent feasible. Currently my bedroom door is closed, but I am thinking of opening it: *everyone* in the household tested positive today, which makes further attempts at intra-household quarantining of very limited use. We *are* unclean with respect to each other--coughing on an already-sick person does send their germs reinforcements--but no more so than we are unclean with respect to ourselves.)
---
I had a very shitty night, not sure I slept at all, but after some naps and Tylenol I am feeling...not *well* exactly, but surprisingly okay. And--thus far, at least--not brainfoggy beyond the ordinary sleep deprivation: fingers crossed that I make it out of this without brain damage.
---
(edit: part 2)
I have COVID-19.
---
I strove so hard, when my brother fell ill a couple of weeks ago. But reality doesn't grade on a curve, and empirically I did not strive hard *enough*.
---
No. That's not true. Reality *does* grade on a curve. It grades on a dose-response curve.
I strove so hard to protect myself from him, and that--we may safely assume: how could it not?--lowered my dose, and that *matters*.
---
There has not been time to learn what the impact of COVID-19 infection looks like five, ten, thirty years down the line. But neither am I an early adopter in the grand experiment.
Because I held out until 2024, I have six doses of vaccine in me, the last one just 11 weeks ago.
Because I held out until 2024, I have an air purifier whirring away here in my bedroom, simulating the benefits of fresh air on convalescence, breathing through a 99.5% filter for me when I cannot (because the call is coming from inside the house).
Because I held out until 2024, I have a bottle of cetylpyridinium chloride mouthwash for disinfecting the parts of my innards that mouthwash can safely reach. Which isn't much, but every virus you kill is one less for your immune system to deal with. (I just learned this one recently, bought a bottle less than three weeks ago, just in time.)
"Rest more than you think you need," the updated guides for dealing with COVID-19 infection say, "for longer than you think you need it." They are quite emphatic about this. If you do not schedule maintenance your body will schedule it for you, and if you do not schedule *weeks* of maintenance your body may schedule *years*. No guarantees either way, but you can play the odds, which beats not *knowing* how to play the odds.
(I am writing this from bed, where I intend to remain to the extent feasible. Currently my bedroom door is closed, but I am thinking of opening it: *everyone* in the household tested positive today, which makes further attempts at intra-household quarantining of very limited use. We *are* unclean with respect to each other--coughing on an already-sick person does send their germs reinforcements--but no more so than we are unclean with respect to ourselves.)
---
I had a very shitty night, not sure I slept at all, but after some naps and Tylenol I am feeling...not *well* exactly, but surprisingly okay. And--thus far, at least--not brainfoggy beyond the ordinary sleep deprivation: fingers crossed that I make it out of this without brain damage.
---
(edit: part 2)
no subject
Aw, I'm really sorry about this. I hope everything goes as gently as possible for you and your family (and, you know, all of us - but most relevantly those).